Pediatric Waiting Room

Yesterday I waited for an hour and a half in our pediatric doctor's waiting room only to be shuffled to the examining room for another 15 minute wait before being seen. It's hard not to begin making interesting observations when you're in a small room with a group of people for that long. What I have found that most pediatric waiting rooms have what are called stock characters. Here are a few of some of the reocurring ones I seem to see time and again. Feel free to add some of your own.
1. Naive Naomi. Naive Naomi just had a baby 2 weeks ago. She looks a little tired, but she is easily identified because of the pristine shape of all of her baby gear--the diaper bag looks as if she just pulled the tags off of it this morning before she came, the child is dressed as if she's taking him to a magazine shoot--hat, shoes, the whole nine yards. She tends to want to ask everyone in the room how old their child is, how much they weighed when they were in born, and somehow, without a bit of inhibition she tells her entire labor and delivery story to the whole room before we escape to an examination room. When asked how her baby is doing, Naive Naomi says, "He's sleeping pretty good right now. I think he'll be sleeping through the night very soon." When Naive Naomi hears a baby screaming from the examining room areas, she looks disturbed and says, "Oh my. Someone's upset." One of the moms with three of her four children there with her says, "Probably got a vaccination shot." Naive Naomi loses the color in her face and clutches the child to her chest.
2. Burn-out Betty. Burn-out Betty hasn't had a warm meal in over a decade (as my brother-in-law Brad always jokes). She sits in a corner chair rocking her infant (number 4) in the carseat on the floor with her right foot while attempting to steal a moment for herself in the waiting room. She has somehow managed to completely zone out the chaos around her as she voraciously reads a two year old Reader's Digest. She wipes noses of her two and four year old toddlers without looking up from the pages of the magazine. Her toddlers have found the waiting room to be a place of great freedom. They climb up on top of chairs and tables and innocently make the rounds of all the infant carrier seats in the room, poking their little germie fingers into the face of the other-wise healthy infants. Burn-out Betty might occassionally yell their names out, but she's obviously decided she's worn out with chasing them around. Too bad Burn-out Betty's oldest child is in school today, because we begin to get the feeling that Burn-out Betty depends upon her help in these kinds of situations regularly. Burn-out Betty will always be a story-topper. You know the type? So when Naive Naomi tells her labor and delivery story, she was really in for it when Burn-out Betty started in with, "You think that was a tough labor and delivery?....." We all begin to understand and pitty Burn-out Betty by the end of her her M.A.S.H.-like delivery story.
3.Perplexed Papa. Perplexed Papa has that deer-in-the-headlights kind of look. This is his first visit to the pediatric doctor's office alone with this 8 month old son, but he had to bring him in by himself, because his dear wife is sick in bed at home. He brought the diaper bag, but because he feels so strange holding a purse-like object, he carries it around like it is a bag of trash containing something unpleasantly odiferous, and after he signs in, he gets called back to the sliding glass window 5 times because he didn't fill out some paperwork properly. When asked what his co-pay is, Perplexed Papa looks particularly perplexed, and says, "My wife didn't tell me about a co-pay." He holds his sick 8 month old on his hip all the while unaware that the child's nose is running like a faucet. He wiggles in his seat uncomfortably through the labor and delivery stories, and when he finally gets called back to see the doctor, he dashes for the open door like a prisoner being set free.
4.Christian Krishanni. I love Christian Krishanni. She has a contagious smile, and she's wearing a shirt that looks like it has the Arm and Hammer logo on it, but instead of saying "Arm and Hammer" it says "Armed and Ready" and the arm pictured in the center of the logo is clutching a Bible. Underneath the logo there is a scripture and on the back of her shirt it says, "Come worship with me at New Hope Revival Holy Ghost Ebenezer Church!" Christian Krishanni is very warm and patient with all of the children in the waiting room...for the first 45 minutes of so. She's there with her pre-teen daughter who languishes on her lap asking periodically, "When is it going to be our turn, Mom?" Christian Krishanni responds graciously to her daughter for the first leg of the wait by saying things like, "I guess the doctor must've had an emergency and got behind this morning...Maybe they're just especially busy this morning...I'm sure they'll see us soon..." But even Christian Krishanni begins to lose her patience after she's waited patiently for close to an hour in that chaotic waiting room. I begin to envision the bulging bicep from Christian Krishanni's Arm and Hammer-like t-shirt logo K.O.ing the receptionist and then Christian Krishanni is surrounded by Kirk Franklin's back-up singers and they're all singing and dancing to his song "Stomp". We hear Christian Krishanni's voice trailing down the hallway singing the lyrics, "Lately, I been goin' through somethin' that's really got me down....." We all wish we were leaving with her.
5.Doormat Donna. Doormat Donna is a working mom who really doesn't regularly spend much time with her child, but her kindergartener is sick today, and so she's spending her morning in the pediatric office. She looks a little out of place in her power-suit and high, pointy heels, and regularly you wouldn't ever think she would be Doormat Donna--not in the professional world anyway, but when it comes to her little 5 year old sweetie-pie, Doormat Donna truly earns her name. Doormat Donna, bless her heart, is still trying to run her office from the pediatric waiting room with the help of her blackberry. Meanwhile 5 year old sweetie-pie is whining and fussing, and everyone in the room knows just how hungry 5 year old sweetie-pie is within a matter of minutes. "I'm hungry, Momma!! I'm realllllly hungry! Why didn't you feed me breakfast? I'm starving! When are we leaving? Moooooommmmmmmmmaaaaaa!!!!" Doormat Donna, meanwhile, leaves several people confused for a few moments because it seems as if she might be trying to engage us in conversation, and just as I begin to stupidly respond to her, she turns her head a little to show me her blue-tooth contraption stuck in her ear. I turn a little red and feel foolish. The drama continues, and Donna begins digging in her enormous purse for something to distract little sweetie-pie. Out tumbles a box of Dexatrim, a case of Altoids, her Gucci sunglasses and finally at the bottom, what she thinks is going to be her saving grace....tadahhh...the Nintendo gameboy thing! She gets a huge look of relief, tosses it in the lap of sweetie pie, and continues like a steamroller sealing the deal with this client on the phone. Doormat Donna hasn't been listening to 5 year-old sweetie pie, though, and she doesn't know she's not interested in the Nintendo! She is hungry! Finally the child takes the mother's chin in her hands and says, "I want something to eat, NOW!" She tosses the gameboy back into the large, hobo style, gold lame bag, scoops 5 year-old sweetie pie onto her hip, continuing the conversation, heads to the hallway, and returns moments later with sweetie pie nursing a large Mountain Dew and a jumbo bag of M&M's purchased from a vending machine down the hall. Just what the room needed. A dose of extreme caffeine and sugar!

Well, there are more I could describe, but I'd better end here. I'd love for you to add some of your favorite waiting room stock characters.

Potty talk

OK, this is an Adrienne original that I created while potty training Olivia. Even though she has long since been potty trained, praise ye the Lord, it is still a Rogowski household standard that we enjoy periodically. Somehow Olivia and I got to singing it this morning, and I just adore the way she sings back-up vocals for me, and I talked her into recording this with me. Hope it brings a chuckle your way, or maybe for you moms with little ones out there, it will become a household standard as you potty train your toddlers. Obviously, you can insert other words as other bathroom needs arise.

A Day in the Life part VII

I couldn't end the picture diary experience without one more picture of my wonderful handsome husband. Here he is after a very long day--finally home after the Admin. Council meeting at 9:22 PM. Join in song everyone! "He works hard for his money (duh-duh, duh-duh) So hard for it honey (duh-duh, duh-duh)! He works hard for his money, so you'd better treat him right..." :) Oh come on, you know you know that Tina Turner song! :)
Well, this has been a fun day. Maybe next time I do this I'll choose a summer day so that Stan can participate a little more. Bless you all for reading all of this. I know it's not earth-shattering news. It's just family life. And before any of you think life is ideal around here--just know that as editor of this project, I've edited out the time-out sentences of which there were two--just didn't think it would be fair to the accused to have their less-than-stellar moments included in this project. Hope you all have a wonderfully full day!

A Day in the LIfe part VI

Bath time is one of Benjamin's favorite times of the day. He's very good at doing the baby sign language for bath time, and often he'll do it to me all throughout the day, so I'm always glad when I can finally do the sign to him at night and see him get so genuinely excited. After bath and getting jammied-up and lotioned-up, Olivia wanted to read Benjamin a book or two. She gave him a sweet goodnight kiss before he hit the hay. Olivia and I read a few more books together before she went to bed. Stan is at an Administrative Council meeting at the church tonight, so we only saw him before and during dinner, and then he had to zip right back out the door again. Hopefully he'll be home before 9:30. These meetings are notoriously long. I'll try to get another shot of him in before the end of the night. It's been a nice day. Full, but good. And now with both bambinos bedded down, I've got to work on completing my Crown Financial Study homework--a little behind on that since we went to Mom and Dad's Thursday-Saturday. Time to get caught up!

A Day in the Life part V

So before Benjamin woke up, I got Olivia all dressed up in her dance attire, and while I got Benjamin up from his nap and changed his diaper, she watched her favorite parts of Mary Poppins--spoon full of sugar, jolly holiday & supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. Then Benjamin and I dropped Olivia off at dance and did a quick Wal-Mart run--not exactly Benjamin's favorite thing, but we always seem to survive it. We came home to our wonderful Daddy who helped me unload the groceries and keep Benjamin from falling off of the picnic table while dinner was being prepared. Olivia helped me tonight--homemade pizza with mushrooms (or mashed potatoes as she calls them??? who knows why?) and now it's on to the bedtime preparations. I just got a call from wonderful Aunt Abby on her commute home out in Arlington, and she was telling me that Carrie Beth wouldn't want to know how people drive out near Dallas. Ich. Thank you Lord for keeping her safe. Olivia also has been telling me tonight that she has a "bad case of the wedgies". I tried to tell her that she must have on a pair of Indian drawers--'cause they keep creepin' up on her. :) Alright, on to bath time! We're coming to the finish line.

A Day in the Life part IV

So after lunch we needed a little time outside to burn off some energy before nap time! :) Benjamin and I swept the garage while Olivia rode her tricyle, played with the beach ball, and flew the kite. It is a gorgeous day here today. Not too hot, not too cool. We enjoyed playing a while. Olivia did let me fly her kite, and while she wanted to photograph me flying it, it's tricky taking action shots like that, so I don't have evidence of my kite flying ventures, but I did enjoy flying it a little myself. :) Olivia is a pro, though! Finally I got them both down for a nap, and I came into my office to work on an inventory order. I've just finished that up, and now I'm done updating our picture diary. Olivia just walked in to notify me that she's not feeling like a nap today. Oh well, worth a shot, right? :)

A Day in the Life part III

So after rushing to get showered and shined (as Kristin used to always say), I had to go wake Benjamin up in order to go get Olivia from school. I love this picture of him when he's just woken up. He looks mildly perturbed with me. Then there's a picture of us waiting in the carpool line, and then finally a pic with Olivia back in the truck with us after a great morning at preschool. She got to plant a seed today, so she was thrilled. She said, "It's gonna grow taller than Daddy!" We'll see. Hope it does grow! :) Then on home. My usual mode of operation is to turn on Dobson while getting lunch ready, and today we had sandwiches, cheese and crackers, apples and strawberries. Benjamin had a left over pancake instead of a sandwich. :) Yummy!

A Day in the Life part II

I've been working hard to keep up with Stan and his jogging regimen. I don't usually run quite as far as he does every day, but I am trying to jog between 1 and 2 miles each day. The great injustice, however, is that when Stan began jogging that much each day, the pounds just rolled off. Not exactly the story for me. I'm certain that a little additional discipline in my eating wouldn't hurt either, though. :) So here is a before and after. I actually did 2 miles today. Yeah! Go Adrienne, Go Adrienne, Go Adrienne! :) And yes, I do ask Olivia to cheer for me when she's home on Tues/Thurs and I'm treadmilling. Can you tell what my main love language is (those of you who have read the 5 love languages)?
ps--And yes, that book shelf behind the treadmill is out of control. It is a spring cleaning project that has needed attention for quite some time. :)

A Day in the Life...

A while back my dear friend, Kristin, did a wonderful picture diary for her friends to be able to see what a day in the life of the Pattison family looked like. I really enjoyed it--especially as a very far away friend, so I thought I'd do the same thing today. Here you'll see us gathered around the breakfast table at about 7:30. Olivia shows me her bowl to show me she's done with her bran flakes--great job, Liv! Benjamin fiishes his yogurt and apples with a smile, and then we get dressed for the day. After getting Benjamin and Olivia dressed, Olivia watches a little Clifford cartoon while I wrangle Benjamin and attempt to make myself look presentable for the preschool drop-off. You'll see Benjamin in our closet and on the treadmill--two of his favorite hang-outs. He's got a fettish for any and all hairbrushes right now, and I'm often catching him gagging on a hair because he's always trying to eat the brush. Yuck. Eventually we all get ready by about 8:40 and we're out the door to preschool. We had to take The Beast, the name I've given Stan's truck, since Stan took the blazer in for an oil change and to have someone look at that tire that keeps on losing air. Now I'm home, I've gotten B-man down for a nap, and I'm soon to hit the treadmill after responding to a few e-mails. Thrilling, right? ;)

Tappin' the Night Away

I think the Lord knew I needed a laugh, because I woke up laughing this morning after having a hysterical dream. I dreamed that me and a group of girlfriends were all dancing to the Terry Gibbs and the Dream Band vol. 5 CD. I don't remember the faces of most of the girls who danced, but I do remember seeing Monica dance. I don't know if you're reading this, Monica, but girl, you were one mean tap dancer in my dream--I'm talkin' Fred Astaire, Ginger Rogers--OK, maybe not quite as polished, but it was truly wonderful. And at one point Monica said to me, "Why don't you take a turn, Adrienne?" I said, "I'm afraid I'll wet my pants from laughing!" Truly hysterical, because the music was extremely fast, and all the girls who danced were looking like they were on speed or something. Why in the world did I dream that??? Bizarre.

Just call me Adrienne Melodrama Rogowski

OK, sorry for the melodramatic poetry. I just had one of those encounters that left me feeling significantly frustrated, and sometimes it just feels good to write a dramatic poem expressing how I felt at the time. We all know these kind of people--people who feel their calling is to speak the truth with little grace, mercy or wisdom, and you find yourself walking away feeling like your heart was just put through a cheese grater. I've probably been the offender sometimes myself, but I hope and pray that I will allow the Lord to guide my tongue--that I will, when it is necessary and beneficial, speak the truth graciously, thoughtfully, carefully.

Heartache

After encountering her
my heart has been
forcefully,
thoughtlessly
roughed up
by a pumice stone of
harsh words.
My heart is left
Mangled
by her tell-it-like-it-is personality
Pummeled
by her hold-no-punches
philosophy of friendship
Bruised
and left with jagged edges
stunned.

Running to Win

Well, it's hump day. That middle of the week day that sometimes makes you feel as if Friday is lightyears away. I'm not regularly inspired all that greatly by Wednesdays. I enjoy fellowshipping with friends over Wednesday night supper at church and then choir rehearsal, but the rest of the day is not, in and of itself, all that inspiring. You know how you feel some Monday mornings when you realize you have a new, fresh week ahead of you. OK, I know what some of you are saying--um, no. Mondays are just that much farther from Fridays! True. There are some Mondays that feel that way to me, too, but many times I look forward to that starting over feeling you get on Monday morning--jumping back into the weekly routine. Well, for whatever reason, I kind of have that sense this morning. Indulge me as I explain how I got to this feeling. You know me, short story-long. :)
I am often frustrated with myself by the untidiness of my house--you know, the unsanitary state of my bathrooms (and oddly this morning, both happen to be clean), the crumbiness of my kitchen/dining room floor, the piles of laundry waiting to be attacked, the burner eyes on the stove that have needed to be cleaned for several weeks ever since that pot boiled over, and the ongoing growth of clutter that I battle daily on my kitchen counter, the kitchen table, and my dresser. I've mentioned before on my blog that my domestic strengths have always seemed to lie more in the deep-cleaning rather than the day-to-day maintenance. You want your bathroom scoured ceiling to floor, honey? I'm your gal, but it's those days and sometimes weeks in between scouring that leave me frustrated. I'm not as consistent as I'd like to be in the day-to-day pick-up, tidy-up, etc, and so I tend to dread the jobs that begin to grow bigger around me. I've gone through stages when I've tried to create and maintain some sort of schedule, and somehow I seem to abandon the schedule eventually, even though I find a sense of peace and stability through it. So why am I talking about this? Well, I've been trying to get my guts up to restart my MK biz, and as I've talked with the Lord about it, I've confessed to him that I know I've got to do this, but that in some ways I dread it because I know I'm really going to have to live by my day-planner--hour by hour each day, in order to get everything done--house chores, being mommy, being wife, having devos, exercising, and now MK responsibilities. I know there are some of you who adore living by a day-planner. I had never seen anyone so completely committed to her day-planner until I met Kristin. Her freshman year in college, she was the most disciplined person I'd probably ever met. I mean, if that girl had written that she was going to spend two hours studying in the basement cubicles in the library, she did not deviate from the planner--ever! She would likely tell you now that it was her obsession to distract herself from her terrible homesickness, but regardless, it was impressive. So this morning, I was thinking about Kristin and her dog-earred day-planner, filled, hour-to-hour in her less-than-lovely handwriting (you know I love it, Kace), and I suddenly felt like this was my Monday-morning-starting-fresh-day. Time to step into that yoke with the Lord, submit to the day-planner, and run this race as if to win! Did I write this appointment with my blog in the day-planner, you ask? No, not yet. Give me a running start, OK? :)