Wal-Mart Photo Sessions and other things that raise my blood pressure

Well, I finally took Benjamin for his inagural Wal-Mart photo studio session experience. I took Olivia in when she was 4 months old, and Benjamin is nearly 7 months old, but I squeezed him into his baptismal outfit and went for it. There are a few elements of experiencing a photo session in Wal-Mart that I could do without. Maybe some of you who have desired to have pictures of your children taken without having to remortgage your home can relate to some of the following matters of frustration.
1. Rather than a warm, professional greeting, a woman leaned around a wall divider and said loudly, "Honey, you can't change his clothes in here. My boss will fire me. There's cameras everywhere in here, so we can't have kids undressing. Take him to the bathroom, sweetie."
2. Everytime I go to Wal-Mart for pictures, there is always a battle over the backdrop. The photographer has a very difficult time understanding that I generally prefer the white, black, or blue background. Now for those of you who want a one dimensional Buzz Lightyear standing at attention behind your baby in a photograph meant to be kept for all of posterity, please do not take offense. Nor should those of you who simply can't resist the backdrop with the large stars or the one with Santa peeking around the Christmas tree be offended. As my pastor at Asbury United Methodist Church, Marvin Leggett, used always say, Now people, don't get me down wrong...I have to admit that I fell to the pressures of a rather aggressive photographer last year, and we do have a picture of Olivia amongst a field of spring flowers. And while it is a little cheese-ball for me, I have to tell you, it's not all bad. However, being that we don't go for pictures more than once a year generally, I just want the simple, basic white, black, or blue backdrop, please. And could you please not make me feel badly about it? Thank you.
3. When Olivia is working her smile as hard as she can, could you lay off of the feather duster in her face? After several rounds of, "Come on, sugar. Show me those pearly whites..etc." with the duster finding its way into all of the facial orafices of my child, I finally tried to interject politely with, "I think she's giving you her best smile," in order to spare Olivia any more of the trauma.
4. Could you please take a moment to learn my children's names? I just think it is the professional and caring thing to do to address a child by his or her name rather than calling them things like "Sissy" "Bubba" "Buddy" "Big Girl" "Blondie" "Baldie". OK, she didn't really call him Baldie. But that would've really been over the line, wouldn't it? :)
5. Last, but certainly not least, just a little greater concern for hygine and germ issues would be greatly appreciated. Maybe I shouldn't be so uptight, but when she kisses Benjamin's face with a teddy bear when he has druel running down his chin, and then she says, "Now I'm gonna kiss Momma!" I feel the wet teddy bear against my cheek and think, "Should I have waited to do this until after his next round of immunizations?" OK, not really, but you know what I'm saying. :)
The good news is that inspite of all the little crazy moments, we made it through without either child crying, and I think we actually got some pretty cute photos. I'll upload them when they come in. I must say that even though Wal-Mart photo studios are often a test of endurance, patience and your immune system, I'm always pleased with the end result! Maybe you have a photo session memory you'd like to share!