Our Muzzy

A week from yesterday we had the funeral for our dear Muzzy, my dad's mother, Beverly. I have been caught off guard by how deeply her passing has hurt me. That doesn't sound very nice, because I don't mean to say I didn't expect to be saddened by her death. I knew I would be very sad, but I didn't know about some of the other feelings it would bring about. But before I talk about those other feelings, I thought I would just write down some thoughts about Muzzy.

• She had a very gentle spirit. There was such a delicateness about her, and you felt like she treated everything and everyone about you with that same delicate nature.
• She loved giving to us. When we became teenagers we knew that when they began giving us cash for our birthday that she missed shopping for us. She enjoyed picking out something special for each of us kids--the real, plush Cabbage Patch dolls that she gave us girls that she and Papaw got from the Cabbage Patch General Hospital up in north Georgia--with Xavier Roberts' signature on the bottom, the Coca-Cola brand long-sleeve polos she gave us one year that catapulted us into the upper social stratosphere (or so we thought), the gigantic cookie cakes from The Great American Cookie Co. that they gave each of us that we savored and nibbled on for weeks (I mentioned these crazy, humongous cookies to Muzzy when she was in Hospice, and she smiled, and said, "We knew what a health nut your mom was and we felt a little mischevious giving those to you kids. I think Papaw kind of enjoyed it!")
• She was an amazing letter writer. She wrote us dozens of times throughout college and on into our first years of marriage. It was a loving gesture, and we always appreciated it and looked forward to her letters. Although I did sometimes write back, I now wish I'd done it a lot more often.
  
• She liked to dance. I think that if Papaw had taken her, she would've gone dancing with him every weekend. She used to boogie around a little bit if we had music on at the house when they were visiting. I love imagining her cutting a rug years ago!
• Her domestic abilities were remarkable. She vacuumed everyday, so if you ever came, you'd always see the vacuum tracks in their spotless, often white, carpet. Her entire house was always spotless. It always looked like it could be shown to a potential buyer at a moment's notice--like a showroom--which I guess was what she was accustomed to since they kind of made a habit of moving in retirement. She was a great cook--potato salad and carrot cake were her specialties, but she made lots of other great meals, too. Her chili was great, but what she loved to eat most was peanut butter toast. Papaw would also tease her about how many crackers she would go through every week. Her favorites were those Club crackers. When she bought them, she'd immediately take them out of the sleeves and put them into this special size container that held them perfectly. Papaw would joke about her being a beever going through that cracker tin so quickly.
  
• She was an artist, and I really wish she had sought ways to develop her ability even more, because you could tell she had such ability. She painted wooden ducks, and they are beautiful--great precision and detail. I'm glad I have one of them in our home. She knitted beautifully. She made an Easter dress and bonnet for Abby one year when she was just a toddler I believe. It was so pretty--cream with navy trim--such care and thought had gone into making it. She always made us beautiful afghans when we graduated from highschool--each one of us has a Muzzy original that we'll always treasure. And since the babies have arrived, she was busy making each of them their own baby blankets. With each additional blanket, we valued them more and more, because of how painful her hands were because of arthritis. She was quite a seamstriss, and I believe she helped make some halloween costumes for us sometime, and I know she made all of Dad's costumes that he wears when doing his dramatic monologues.
  
• She never learned to drive, so she was always dependent upon Papaw to get her around. Dad says that he remembers as a kid waiting in the bank parking lot with Papaw to pick her up after work, and sometimes they'd have to wait extra long if they were having a hard time balancing all of the end of the day numbers.
  
• She was beautiful. She had a classiness about her--always dressed sharply with lovely jewelry, usually with Etienne Aigner shoes and bag. And she always kept Papaw looking good, too.
  
• Muzzy smoked, but I didn't know that until I was in maybe 2nd or 3rd grade, and I never once saw her smoke, never ever smelled smoke on her (and I have a sensitive nose) never saw a picture of her with a cigarette in her hand--ever. I remember we were visiting them when they lived in Conyers, GA, and I was being the typical nosey child. While she and Mom worked on getting dinner prepared, I was walking around her large, pristine kitchen opening the droors and peeking inside. I pulled open one droor and saw a packet of cigarettes alongside a phonebook. I quickly slid the droor closed and turned around to see if she'd seen me. I don't think she did, but the rest of that visit I was so dismayed to realize that one of them or both of them smoked, because we were taught, of course, that smoking was bad for your health. When we left, I asked Mom about it, and she said that it was Muzzy who smoked, but that she didn't think she wanted us kids to know about it, because she knew it was an awful habit and she didn't want to set a bad example. I don't think she must've smoked much, because she was able to go with out smoking for long stretches, and like I said, I never smelled it on her. But ever since that day I had a strange appreciation for her desire to hide it from us, and never once did we talk with her about it.
  
• She had a witty humor--very similar to Dad's, maybe just not quite as weird. :) And she and Dad and Papaw could joke around so easily, and it was always fun to hear Muzzy getting in an occasional funny moment when Dad was being especially corny or something.
  
• She had a quiet voice. Sometimes we would joke saying that she was like the Seinfeld "Low Talker"--especially on the telephone. If you had screaming kids in the background, forget it! She just had this little gentle, silky voice and she didn't raise it very much at all.
  
• When she was in Hospice, I went to visit her, and I had such a nice visit with her. I got there on a Friday evening just before seven, and I didn't leave until 8:30, and we just talked the whole time. Muzzy had a quiet faith, so I didn't know a lot about her walk with the Lord, but I knew she was a Christian and she had faith, but I felt a burden to ask her about it, so I said to her, "I guess you talk to Jesus a lot these days, huh?" And she nodded, and I said, "You know how much that means to us, don't you? To know that you know Him and that you know He loves you and cares for you--especially through all of this--that means so much to us; it is such a comfort to us." She nodded and smiled, and there was a silence for a bit. Then she said, "I would've liked to have been there when he got his start." At first I wasn't sure to whom she was referring, but she continued, "I would've loved to have been there when Jesus first started his ministry--to have been one of his disciples." I understood what she meant, and I said, "Oh I know!" She continued, "to have seen him back then and been in the exciting first days..." I said, "I've often wondered how I would've responded to Jesus--would I have believed him or would I have been skeptical?" She said, "I know. Me too. I'd like to think I'd have followed him, but I guess I don't know if I would've doubted, but I still would've like to have been there." It was a wonderful conversation, and I just praise the Lord that he allowed us to know of her passion in her final weeks of life--her passion to have known Jesus so intimately. I know she's up there with him now, knowing him fully, seeing him fully, worshipping him fully.
  

On the evening of May 14th, Olivia's 4th birthday, Dad and Papaw held her hands and watched as the Lord took her Home. They both have said it was an incredible moment. Papaw told me that when the Hospice nurses cleaned her and prepared her to be taken out by the undertaker, they gave them a little more time with her alone, and Papaw said, "That's how I want to remember her, because she looked like an angel." I imagine she did.
Her funeral was very special. Bob Moon was the pastor, and Uncle D.Joe played the piano. Carrie Beth and Abby and I sang "Great is Thy Faithfulness" and it was such a privilege to have a part in the service. Will read scripture from Romans. Uncle D. Joe's piano playing was tremendous and just brought such a beauty to the time. Bob's words were so thoughtfully prepared. We all appreciated his memories and message.
And now, even a week since her funeral, I find myself randomly moved to tears over it all. And on top of the grief I feel over losing our dear Muzzy, I believe there is something additional that has weighed heavily on me--the growing awareness that I'm not a kid anymore, and with the first death of one of my grandparents comes the end of an era and the beginning of another. The awareness that the other three remaining are certainly closer to their ends than I would ever like to admit--it's difficult to have to face that. I know it is just simply life, but it is still painful considering losing these giants in my life. But as the song says, "...strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow, blessings all mine with ten thousand beside. Great is thy faithfulness, great is thy faithfulness, morning by morning, new mercies I see. All I have needed thy hand hath provided. Great is thy faithfulness, Lord unto me." Amen and amen.

Noah's Ark Program

Olivia's end of the year program at Noah's Ark was great. We were so proud of her because her teacher, Miss Sue, awarded her with the "Good Friend" award. It said on it, "Olivia is friends with everyone and can play with anyone." What a wonderful affirmation. There are also some pictures from a little b-day celebration at Grammy and Papa's afterwards.

Chuck E. Cheese B-day

Sunday night we enjoyed a fun birthday celebration with just the family plus Carrie Beth and her two boys. We had a really good time, and the pizza was not as bad as I remembered it being the last time I ate there. :) Here are some pics from that night.<

Olivia's Dance Recital

Well, it has been an incredibly difficult week, but there have been mountain tops along with the valley moments, and for that we give the Lord praise and thanks. Here are some pictures from one of the definite mountain tops! What a fun day we had!

We had an awesome weekend in Wilmore with the whole family celebrating Will, JD, and Karen's graduation! The highlight had to be the baccalaureate service because Dad preached the sermon, and Will and JD helped lead the worship time. It was truly like a little piece of heaven. Dad's sermon was amazing. I was so proud of him and grateful that I can call him my father. I can't believe my little brother has graduated from college! Life moves at an increasingly rapid pace, doesn't it? I miss Wilmore and sometimes wish I could move our entire family there. It is such a gorgeous part of the country. Green rolling hills, nice weather, exceptional community. It was a tiring trip, but we had a lot of fun!

Pediatric Waiting Room

Yesterday I waited for an hour and a half in our pediatric doctor's waiting room only to be shuffled to the examining room for another 15 minute wait before being seen. It's hard not to begin making interesting observations when you're in a small room with a group of people for that long. What I have found that most pediatric waiting rooms have what are called stock characters. Here are a few of some of the reocurring ones I seem to see time and again. Feel free to add some of your own.
1. Naive Naomi. Naive Naomi just had a baby 2 weeks ago. She looks a little tired, but she is easily identified because of the pristine shape of all of her baby gear--the diaper bag looks as if she just pulled the tags off of it this morning before she came, the child is dressed as if she's taking him to a magazine shoot--hat, shoes, the whole nine yards. She tends to want to ask everyone in the room how old their child is, how much they weighed when they were in born, and somehow, without a bit of inhibition she tells her entire labor and delivery story to the whole room before we escape to an examination room. When asked how her baby is doing, Naive Naomi says, "He's sleeping pretty good right now. I think he'll be sleeping through the night very soon." When Naive Naomi hears a baby screaming from the examining room areas, she looks disturbed and says, "Oh my. Someone's upset." One of the moms with three of her four children there with her says, "Probably got a vaccination shot." Naive Naomi loses the color in her face and clutches the child to her chest.
2. Burn-out Betty. Burn-out Betty hasn't had a warm meal in over a decade (as my brother-in-law Brad always jokes). She sits in a corner chair rocking her infant (number 4) in the carseat on the floor with her right foot while attempting to steal a moment for herself in the waiting room. She has somehow managed to completely zone out the chaos around her as she voraciously reads a two year old Reader's Digest. She wipes noses of her two and four year old toddlers without looking up from the pages of the magazine. Her toddlers have found the waiting room to be a place of great freedom. They climb up on top of chairs and tables and innocently make the rounds of all the infant carrier seats in the room, poking their little germie fingers into the face of the other-wise healthy infants. Burn-out Betty might occassionally yell their names out, but she's obviously decided she's worn out with chasing them around. Too bad Burn-out Betty's oldest child is in school today, because we begin to get the feeling that Burn-out Betty depends upon her help in these kinds of situations regularly. Burn-out Betty will always be a story-topper. You know the type? So when Naive Naomi tells her labor and delivery story, she was really in for it when Burn-out Betty started in with, "You think that was a tough labor and delivery?....." We all begin to understand and pitty Burn-out Betty by the end of her her M.A.S.H.-like delivery story.
3.Perplexed Papa. Perplexed Papa has that deer-in-the-headlights kind of look. This is his first visit to the pediatric doctor's office alone with this 8 month old son, but he had to bring him in by himself, because his dear wife is sick in bed at home. He brought the diaper bag, but because he feels so strange holding a purse-like object, he carries it around like it is a bag of trash containing something unpleasantly odiferous, and after he signs in, he gets called back to the sliding glass window 5 times because he didn't fill out some paperwork properly. When asked what his co-pay is, Perplexed Papa looks particularly perplexed, and says, "My wife didn't tell me about a co-pay." He holds his sick 8 month old on his hip all the while unaware that the child's nose is running like a faucet. He wiggles in his seat uncomfortably through the labor and delivery stories, and when he finally gets called back to see the doctor, he dashes for the open door like a prisoner being set free.
4.Christian Krishanni. I love Christian Krishanni. She has a contagious smile, and she's wearing a shirt that looks like it has the Arm and Hammer logo on it, but instead of saying "Arm and Hammer" it says "Armed and Ready" and the arm pictured in the center of the logo is clutching a Bible. Underneath the logo there is a scripture and on the back of her shirt it says, "Come worship with me at New Hope Revival Holy Ghost Ebenezer Church!" Christian Krishanni is very warm and patient with all of the children in the waiting room...for the first 45 minutes of so. She's there with her pre-teen daughter who languishes on her lap asking periodically, "When is it going to be our turn, Mom?" Christian Krishanni responds graciously to her daughter for the first leg of the wait by saying things like, "I guess the doctor must've had an emergency and got behind this morning...Maybe they're just especially busy this morning...I'm sure they'll see us soon..." But even Christian Krishanni begins to lose her patience after she's waited patiently for close to an hour in that chaotic waiting room. I begin to envision the bulging bicep from Christian Krishanni's Arm and Hammer-like t-shirt logo K.O.ing the receptionist and then Christian Krishanni is surrounded by Kirk Franklin's back-up singers and they're all singing and dancing to his song "Stomp". We hear Christian Krishanni's voice trailing down the hallway singing the lyrics, "Lately, I been goin' through somethin' that's really got me down....." We all wish we were leaving with her.
5.Doormat Donna. Doormat Donna is a working mom who really doesn't regularly spend much time with her child, but her kindergartener is sick today, and so she's spending her morning in the pediatric office. She looks a little out of place in her power-suit and high, pointy heels, and regularly you wouldn't ever think she would be Doormat Donna--not in the professional world anyway, but when it comes to her little 5 year old sweetie-pie, Doormat Donna truly earns her name. Doormat Donna, bless her heart, is still trying to run her office from the pediatric waiting room with the help of her blackberry. Meanwhile 5 year old sweetie-pie is whining and fussing, and everyone in the room knows just how hungry 5 year old sweetie-pie is within a matter of minutes. "I'm hungry, Momma!! I'm realllllly hungry! Why didn't you feed me breakfast? I'm starving! When are we leaving? Moooooommmmmmmmmaaaaaa!!!!" Doormat Donna, meanwhile, leaves several people confused for a few moments because it seems as if she might be trying to engage us in conversation, and just as I begin to stupidly respond to her, she turns her head a little to show me her blue-tooth contraption stuck in her ear. I turn a little red and feel foolish. The drama continues, and Donna begins digging in her enormous purse for something to distract little sweetie-pie. Out tumbles a box of Dexatrim, a case of Altoids, her Gucci sunglasses and finally at the bottom, what she thinks is going to be her saving grace....tadahhh...the Nintendo gameboy thing! She gets a huge look of relief, tosses it in the lap of sweetie pie, and continues like a steamroller sealing the deal with this client on the phone. Doormat Donna hasn't been listening to 5 year-old sweetie pie, though, and she doesn't know she's not interested in the Nintendo! She is hungry! Finally the child takes the mother's chin in her hands and says, "I want something to eat, NOW!" She tosses the gameboy back into the large, hobo style, gold lame bag, scoops 5 year-old sweetie pie onto her hip, continuing the conversation, heads to the hallway, and returns moments later with sweetie pie nursing a large Mountain Dew and a jumbo bag of M&M's purchased from a vending machine down the hall. Just what the room needed. A dose of extreme caffeine and sugar!

Well, there are more I could describe, but I'd better end here. I'd love for you to add some of your favorite waiting room stock characters.

Potty talk

OK, this is an Adrienne original that I created while potty training Olivia. Even though she has long since been potty trained, praise ye the Lord, it is still a Rogowski household standard that we enjoy periodically. Somehow Olivia and I got to singing it this morning, and I just adore the way she sings back-up vocals for me, and I talked her into recording this with me. Hope it brings a chuckle your way, or maybe for you moms with little ones out there, it will become a household standard as you potty train your toddlers. Obviously, you can insert other words as other bathroom needs arise.